Modern Wife

Tag: baby

  • Potty Training

    Potty Training

    Before my baby was born I read about Elimination Communication, a method of detecting and responding to an infant’s elimination needs. It’s not as much “training” as it is becoming in tune with the natural timing of my baby’s body functions. Elimination Communication means teaching children how to eliminate properly right from the start. It’s the opposite of teaching babies to eliminate in their pants, then at a later age having to re-teach them that eliminating in their pants is bad.

    I didn’t launch full steam into EC. I understood the concepts but decided instead to use chlorine free diapers. I remember once holding my baby over the toilet when she was only two weeks old. It was my first try at EC, and I admit it was awkward for me, so I kept using the diapers as I got to know my baby’s signs.

    At around seven months my baby was able to sit upright in a chair, so I resumed the potty training. We set up a Baby Bjorn Toilet Trainer. First thing in the morning, I sat her on the potty and she went. Everytime I would see the “poopie face,” we sat her on the potty and she went. We still continued using diapers, but we sat her on the potty every chance we could get, all the while saying the word “potty” while she sat there.

    Another helpful habit is taking the baby to the bathroom with me whenever I had to go. I wanted her to see that she wasn’t the only one that needed to sit on the potty. I wanted to show her how it’s done.

    The word “potty” became one of the first words she learned how to say. I wanted to make sure she understood that whenever she said the word “potty” I would consistently take her to the toilet. At first she only asked to go potty when she had to take a poop. She was still urinating in her diaper up to about 18 months of age. However, doing away with the messy chore of cleaning diaper poop was a major step in the right direction. Perhaps the sticky gross sensation of pooping was much more noticeable when one has an absorbent diaper quickly soaking up urine.

    Come summertime, my 18 month old spent a lot of time in the inflatable pool in the backyard. We did not bother diapering her, and whenever we did try, she pulled them right off in the heat. Running around the backyard naked, she realized the correlation between the sensation in her bladder and the liquid coming out of her.

    From then on, my toddler consistently called “potty” whenever she had to urinate or defecate, whether we were at home or out and about. We have a potty set up in the car, with plastic bags and paper towels for easy disposal. She learned to sit on a grown-up-sized toilet at public restrooms, holding on to railings or toilet paper holders to steady her. Even in the middle of the night, my toddler wakes and calls “potty” and we take her. Sometimes she’s too groggy, but I can tell she needs to go when she gets restless turning around and around in bed, so I just go and take her to the toilet.

    When I started throwing out dry diapers, I realized she was ready for cotton panties. At 22 months of age, my daughter was fully potty trained. On her 2nd birthday, she went to the bathroom all by herself, closing the door to us and proud to do everything herself.

  • Avocado Applications

    avocadoThe avocado is one of my favorite fruits. Avocado is packed with nutrients such as folate, potassium, vitamin E and lutein. When in season during the summer months, avocados are always on my weekly grocery list.

    Guacamole

    People seem to think of guacamole everytime an avocado is mentioned. It’s an easy recipe: mash a whole avocado, add a diced tomato, minced small onion, chopped cilantro, squeeze half a lime, salt, pepper and ground cumin. It’s a delicious dip for corn tortillas or served on the side of homemade enchilladas.

    Avocado Spa

    Avocado can be mashed and applied on the skin as a moisturizing mask. Many spas offer this treatment for facials, body rubs and foot massages. Before applying avocado on your face and body, test it first on a small patch on your arm to make sure you are not allergic.

    avocado baby foodFirst Solid Food for Baby

    Avocado was the first choice as soon as my baby started craving solid food. It is easily gummed by my toothless tot, and there is hardly any preparation involved. Just cut the fruit in half, remove the pit and spoon it into baby’s eager mouth.

    My eight-month old loves avocado so much, she can eat a half of it in one sitting. I keep the other half refrigerated in a resealable container, ready for the next time my baby wants some more. Remember that avocado turns dark if left out, so if you’re not sure whether your baby can finish a half of an avocado, scrape a smaller portion into a bowl and keep the rest refrigerated.

    Egg and Avocado Sandwich
    aka Green Egg Sandwich

    1 hardboiled egg, diced
    half an avocado, mashed
    1 tablespoon mayonnaise
    salt and pepper to taste

    Combine ingredients above and serve in between toasted bread for a nutritious and delicious lunch. This recipe makes one sandwich.

    Planting the Avocado Seed

    avocado sproutI immerse the flat half of the avocado seed in water, pointed end upwards, and set it on a sunny spot in the kitchen. I’ve made the mistake once of setting it outdoors and the squirrels ate it! Change the water every couple of days, and you may be surprised with some sprouts! When the sprouts are well formed, plant in potting soil with the tip of the seed peeking above the soil surface. Put the plant out on a sunny area, perhaps on a spot the squirrels can’t dig up. Keep the soil fairly moist and with good drainage.

    Avocado Arts and Crafts

    After you’ve mashed, eaten or applied the avocado on your skin, there is one more thing you can do. Turn your avocado skins into shrunken heads!

    avocado skins arts and craftsFirst scrub and wash the inside of the avocado skin until it is clean. Working on a chopping block with the inside of the avocado skin facing you, cut out a couple of eyes, a nose and a mouth. Keep it simple or get creative. Don’t expect it to look like much at first, because the avocado skin needs to dry in the sun for a few days before it shrivels and curls into the gnarly shape of a shrunken head.

    If you eat as much avocado as my family does, you’ll have quite a collection of shrunken heads by the end of the summer… just in time for Halloween!

    avocado shrunken heads

  • Breastfeeding: The Art of Being a Woman

    Breastfeeding is what I’ve found to be the most profound expression of motherhood. Not labor and delivery of the baby, not pregnancy, not conception, all important and indispensable stages of becoming a mother. When I say breastfeeding is the most profound expression of motherhood, it is because I see it as a choice a mother makes that is the ultimate giving of herself. It is a choice that is nowadays not imperative, given the option of bottle feeding formula.

    By breastfeeding, a mother gives her child her time, holding her in her arms and patiently letting her suckle day and night. By breastfeeding, a mother gives her child the nutrients produced by her body, more complete and more pure than anything that can be grown or manufactured on earth. By breastfeeding, a mother teaches her child’s immune system how to defend itself from diseases she has had experience with up to that point.

    I’ve been breastfeeding my baby for almost a year now, and I will continue to do so until she decides to wean herself. I have never been wrong in observing my child closely and allowing her to decide what is best for her. When she’s hungry she eats, when she’s full she pushes food away. I believe that babies are more in touch with the pure and honest needs of their own bodies. As adults we have become too educated and worldly, mired in words and concepts, perhaps not as in touch with what’s basic and real.

    There have been many times when breastfeeding my child constantly is what saves her. I put her at my breast when she’s constipated. It seems to settle her upset tummy and hydrates her till she is able to eliminate. I put her at my breast throughout air flights to and from visiting family. It eases her popping ears and keeps her from being dehydrated in those dry airconditioned airplanes. When she had a fever upon cutting her first tooth, I kept her at my breast with a cool damp washcloth at her forehead. Her fever subsided shortly and she is back to being her healthy and happy self. As a toddler, when she caught pink eye from one of her playmates, a couple of drops of breastmilk into the affected eye cleared the conjunctivitis quickly.

    Breastfeeding has helped me too. I’ve become more confident in my abilities as a mother and a caregiver. I saved money by not buying formula, bottles, and other bottle feeding paraphernalia. Late night feedings are a breeze because all I have to do is turn over to my side and present my breasts.

    I feel really lucky that I am able to stay at home and care for my baby full time the way I do. I understand some women don’t have that luxury. In two-income families, the choice to feed with formula is made for them by the realities of having to leave their child at a day care facility.

    This book, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding: Completely Revised and Updated 8th Edition, presents as many solutions as there are obstacles preventing contemporary women from breastfeeding their babies. It’s an important book to read during pregnancy, to prepare for the real work ahead.

  • Busting Breastfeeding Myths

    Busting Breastfeeding Myths

    Ever since my baby was born, I’ve heard a number of breastfeeding myths from my mother and some aunts, women whose parenting skills were shaped during the ’70’s, when milk companies took advantage of the women’s liberation movement to sell mothers formula. Here are some of the myths I’ve heard, and the truths that bust these myths:

    MYTH #1: Breastmilk does not have complete nutrition.

    On the contrary, breastmilk has everything a baby needs to grow up strong and healthy. There is no other food or drink grown or manufactured on earth that can compare to the nourishment provided by breastmilk.

    MYTH # 2: There is not enough breast milk to satisfy baby.

    Our breasts make as much milk as our infant requires. Baby’s suckling stimulates the milk ducts, which in turn creates the milk. As baby grows and requires more milk, the supply of milk increases. As baby begins eating solids and weans, the supply of milk adjusts to the decreasing demand. If the natural supply-demand connection between mother and baby is followed, instead of imposing schedules, pumping, or supplementing with formula, there would be less problems with engorgement, clogged milk ducts and leaking.

    MYTH # 3: Mother will wrinkle up and age prematurely if she breastfeeds.

    Premature aging has long been related to dryness of the skin. It is important to keep ourselves hydrated while breastfeeding. Just like when we were pregnant, at least 2 liters of water a day will keep our bodies healthy and our skin glowing. Soups and fruit juices are a wonderful way to hydrate and nourish ourselves.

    Studies show less problems with osteoporosis or calcium deficiencies, less incidences of cancer of the uterus, and less incidences of breast cancer among women who have breastfed on a long-term basis.

    MYTH # 4: Antibodies can only be passed on to baby within the first 6 months.

    Antibodies are constantly being passed on to baby while the breastfeeding connection is kept. That is why experts suggest that breastfeeding continue, even during times when mother has caught a cold or flu. This allows the baby to be exposed to a milder version of the virus and the antibodies to create immunity.

    For more information about breastfeeding, visit What To Expect.

  • Our Love Story

    My husband and I met in New York City during the blizzard of 1996. He lived in a haunted Victorian Mansion, with a billiards table in the basement, taxidermy birds, fox and a giant elk, antique furniture piled on top of each other, grand pianos, giant ceramic demons hanging from trees, and feathered Indians made of stone. It was so different from the conservative Chelsea apartment I shared with my aunt.

    One afternoon, he and I walked from the haunted Victorian Mansion to the Staten Island Ferry bound for Manhattan. He stopped me, and bent to pick up a black plastic Batman ring on the ground. Then, he took my left hand and slipped the toy on my ring finger. Realizing what he’d just done, we both became nervous. Just then a strong gust of river wind hit us. It blew for about half an hour’s worth of our walk. The Winding Wind, we called it later. The Lenape native tribe called the island, “Sandy Shores and Haunted Forests.” I like to think we were cosmically married by the island ghosts that afternoon.

    Eight months after we met, we got officially married on a mountaintop overlooking Lake Tahoe in Nevada.

    We lived in New York City for a couple of years, while visiting his family in Maine during the holidays and summer seasons. Here we are on the picture above, hiking up Mt. Washington in our familyNew Hampshire, the tallest peak on the Appalachian trail (8,000 or so feet elevation). It is also known to have the fastest wind speed ever recorded in history.

    After that summer, we headed West to California. Together my husband and I run our internet home business and continue pursuing various creative interests.

    After 8 years of being married, we decided to have our first child. We are very excited about becoming a family, although also happy that we have spent a great deal of time enjoying life as a married couple, before jumping into the new challenges and rewards of parenthood.

  • Placenta Fertilizer

    Placenta Fertilizer

    One of the questions I asked my midwife as I neared my due date was “What do we do with the placenta?” Her suggestions: cook it up for a nutrient-rich post partum snack that chases away after birth depression; then plant the rest of it to fertilize the earth.

    I had some placenta immediately after I gave birth. One of the midwives sauteed it with onions and garlic. It tasted pretty good all spiced up, but I must admit there was a huge piece that stayed wrapped up in my freezer for a few months. My mother once mistook it for beef and started to thaw it for supper. I knew I had to do something with my placenta, and soon!

    So when one of my avocado pits sprouted while soaking in the kitchen window, I knew I had the perfect match. My husband and baby watched as I potted the placenta and avocado sprout. I wonder how old my child will be when it’s time to transplant the avocado tree into the ground. When the time comes, I will tell her of that tiny home she inhabited for the first nine months of her life, and how it continued to nurture our home through the avocado tree growing in our sunny backyard.

  • Children’s Fairyland

    Children’s Fairyland

    This weekend we went to Children’s Fairyland in Lake Merritt, Oakland, an outdoor amusement park with a fairy tale theme.

    Created in 1950, this historic park still has the creepy allure of old-fashioned fairs. Attractions look like they are in need of a new coat of paint. The pen marked “Three Blind Mice” had a guinea pig and the pen that housed the Three Billy Goats Gruff only had two overweight goats when we visited. One of the goats strolled over to us and let us pet him. Our baby was reluctant to pet him, and I appreciated the goat’s kindness and understanding of what the children come out here for, but it still made me feel sad. I imagined the goat having the same low voice as Eeyore, sadly resigning himself to an activity he may not necessarily enjoy, but has learned to put up with.

    When my baby wanted to breastfeed, we stopped by the little pond marked “Goosey Goosey Gander,” which housed two ducks. I sat there amused at the sad orchestral music playing, remarking to my husband about how the minor keys were making me feel so sad for the animals. Can you imagine being stuck somewhere and having to put up with sad music all day?

    Children’s Fairyland is also home to a sheep, an alpaca and Coco the Pony, who is 34 years old!

    Coco the Pony at Children's Fairyland

    All in all, we had a great time at Children’s Fairyland. There are lots of fun places to photograph – a Three Little Pigs roleplaying station, Alice in Wonderland, a Wild West setting – and tiny little houses for children to run around in. I would definitely come back again and support our local amusement park. It’s the only way I know how to make it a better place for my growing child.

  • Zinc Oxide for Diaper Rash

    Zinc Oxide for Diaper Rash

    Along the lines of caring for our baby the best way we know how is the treatment of diaper rash. No matter how careful or diligent a parent one is, there is no avoiding an incident or two of baby developing diaper rash. Perhaps it’s an allergic reaction to something baby ate, or a soiled diaper unchanged while traveling. Early on when we were experimenting with different brands of disposable diapers, we discarded certain brands that irritated our baby’s bottom into a rash.

    At the same time that we were searching for better brands of diapers, we were also looking at diaper rash ointments. The most popular one is Desitin, an over the counter zinc oxide ointment that can be found at any local drug store. I read all the ingredients, and did not find the inactive ingredients very appealing, particularly the petroleum base. It seems counteractive to have a known allergen and skin irritant as the base of an ointment that’s supposed to treat a diaper rash.

    Luckily I found a product from the Self Health Resource Center, a company reputed to provide pure and petroleum-free products. It is labeled as Deodorant, but it is simply zinc oxide in powder form inside a plastic container. I just add water and shake it. Whatever cream winds up on the cap of the container, I dip my finger on and apply on my baby’s rash. It is so amazingly effective. Overnight, the rash is gone. If it’s a really bad rash, it peels the next day, then disappears shortly.

    It is also very cheap. I still haven’t finished the original container I bought in the very beginning, and my baby’s almost a year old. The zinc oxide cream dries up after a while, so I just keep adding water, shaking it and using what winds up on the cap.

    I wholeheartedly recommend the Deodorant Zinc Oxide for use as a diaper rash cream.

  • Chlorine-Free Baby Diapers

    Chlorine-Free Baby Diapers

    Long before our baby was born, the subject of diapers has plagued my husband and me. Our midwife suggested using cloth diapers. Cotton is breathable and comfortable against babies’ sensitive skin. Reusable diapers are environmentally responsible.

    The problem with cloth diapers lies in the cleaning process. The right way to do it would be to flush solids and handwash all diapers in the sink using castile or olive oil soap. Personally, I find it a very time consuming process for a work-at-home mom. Throwing soiled, even rinsed, diapers in the washing machine does not sound sanitary either. Laundry bleach is out of the question, considering all the reports we have read about the health hazards of this common household chemical.

    Our midwife suggested a diaper cleaning service that would pick up soiled diapers, and deliver clean ones. My husband and I discussed this option and found it unacceptable to have our child’s diapers mixed in with other babies’ diapers. To promote sanitation, diaper services use bleach when washing large amounts of diapers. Again, laundry bleach is a health hazard, and a menace to the environment.

    What my husband and I finally decided on were disposable diapers that claim to be chlorine-free. I tried four different brands:

    Seventh Generation is my favorite yet. This diaper is a light brown color, uses chlorine-free materials to absorb wetness and keeps my baby’s bottom dry through the night. Whenever I change her, I am really pleased with how dry her bum is, almost as if she had a layer of baby powder on her. Sometimes when the diaper is very full, I see some gel-like particles on her skin, but this happens very infrequently.

    Tender Care claims to be chlorine-free although the diaper itself is white. Perhaps they whiten their product with non-chlorine alternatives. The sticker is too sticky and removing it tears the whole plastic top apart. Definitely not for overnight use, this diaper needs to be changed diligently every two hours maximum.

    Tushies is another favorite. I like alternating this diaper with the Seventh Generation brand so that my baby’s bum doesn’t get chafed by the same shape of diaper all the time. This brand claims to be gel-free, no absorbent polymer which the Seventh Generation brand has. Tushies uses wood pulp whitened with chlorine-free hydrogen peroxide.

    I had ordered the four brands above from Amazon, but lucky for me, the brands I wound up liking best are available at my local health food store.

  • My Home Birth Story

    My Home Birth Story

    October 31 at 9 a.m. my water broke. My midwife, Kristen, came about an hour later to check on me. She suggested going on our daily walk, to help the baby descend lower and bring on the contractions.

    So hubby and I went to take a walk, which was the longest walk we’ve ever taken, because I was going so slow. Passing trick-or-treaters on our walk, we rescued a stray dog who almost got run over by a car. Jay whistled to the dog to keep it off the road, until the dog found his way home. We also ate some Mexican food and bought Knudsen’s Recharge, an energy drink that has real fruit juice instead of sugar, for the labor we were anticipating. At the grocery store the cashier asked when I was due, and nearly flipped out when I answered, “Tonight.”

    At home, we hung out and every 10 or so minutes I had contractions, which felt like severe menstrual cramps. We went to bed early, Jay massaged my lower back and buttocks everytime I had a contraction. I found it helped me to vocalize while I had a contraction. It helped me breathe through it, and it signaled my husband to massage me. I instructed him to massage my cheeks outward, to help me visualize my body opening up to let the baby out.

    By 2 in the morning on November 1, I began feeling more intense contractions, the kind that actually makes me feel like pushing. I fought the urge to push by breathing through it, moaning and vocalizing all the way. I told my husband to call the midwife NOW.

    Kristen arrived 2:15 a.m. She set up quickly in our bedroom, and called the other two midwives who will assist her. By that time I was on my hands and knees, the only position I felt comfortable in. Everytime I moaned with my contraction, I remembered the old creation myth about the goddess singing the world into creation, calling each creature by name in a song uniquely its own. The vibration of my voice in my belly helped me get through the pain. In between contractions, I felt delirious, almost like I was in deep dreamy sleep. (Thank you, endorphins!!!)

    By 4 a.m. I was getting tired, anxious, and worried that nothing was happening. Kristen and the other midwives kept me hydrated with Recharge and some water, kept encouraging me by saying I’m doing a good job. In between contractions, Kristen checked the baby’s heartbeat through her handheld Doppler, and also checked my cervix. When she felt that the cervix was fully dilated and out of the way, she instructed me to push.

    By then my arms were so tired of holding my body on all fours. I had pillows piled up in front of me, to rest my head in between contractions, but my arms and thighs were shaking in exhaustion. Kristen suggested I change position.

    I stood up, and in frustration, I cried, “Hold me” to Jay. We hugged, and as I got a contraction I found myself tiptoe-ing and hanging off Jay’s shoulder in one push. He took my weight and it felt really good. I felt the baby go even lower with the help of gravity. Jay and I had found our groove. We repeated this process every contraction. Later on Jay told me he could feel the baby kicking through my belly and onto his stomach as I hung my whole body weight off him – the three of us, father, mother and child moving to the rhythm of our own unique birthing dance. He said that before we labored, he was afraid he wouldn’t know what to do, that he might be in the way of the process, or worse, be like the stereotype “waiting room Dad.” When I hugged him he said he felt like a strong man, that he could support me, not just psychologically but in a very physical sense.

    As the baby got lower and lower, I kept crying, “It hurts!” My team encouraged me to keep pushing, make it hurt more, I wasn’t sure I could. I entertained fantasies of being magically transported to the hospital and being shot drugs to make the pain go away.

    Kristen brought me back to earth by saying that I was ready to deliver. She suggested I go back to my hands and knees. Jay got back to massaging me to open wide during the contractions. With the most painful pressure on my whole pelvic area, I delivered the head, and the baby got stuck right at the eyes. Jay stretched me wide open to help deliver the baby’s full head at the next contraction. Kristen then expertly repositioned the baby to deliver her shoulders and the rest of the body. At 5:27 a.m. November 1 Kristen placed my baby right underneath me and I looked into my baby’s face for the first time.

    It’s a girl! My beautiful baby girl!!!

    I hugged her and kissed her. She cried so loud and furiously! She also blew the fluid out of her own nose and mouth. She is so strong! Her APGARS is 9/10. She is 6 lbs 10 oz, 18 inches long.

    We were still connected through the umbilical cord, and the placenta was still inside me. I suddenly didn’t feel like I had any more strength to push the placenta out. The midwives encouraged me to breastfeed my baby immediately, to trigger one more contraction so I can deliver the placenta. My baby latched onto my breast immediately. She is so amazingly smart and knew what to do. Within minutes, I passed her on to my husband while I delivered the placenta. Once she was back in my arms, my husband cut the cord, and the midwives set to work inspecting the placenta to make sure there were no missing parts that could still be inside me.

    After that, the three midwives split up their afterbirth tasks. Shauna stayed with the baby to measure her weight, length, and reflexes. Kristen sat me in an herbal sitz bath and assisted me in a quick shower, while Colette made us all breakfast.