Modern Wife

  • Our Love Story

    My husband and I met in New York City during the blizzard of 1996. He lived in a haunted Victorian Mansion, with a billiards table in the basement, taxidermy birds, fox and a giant elk, antique furniture piled on top of each other, grand pianos, giant ceramic demons hanging from trees, and feathered Indians made of stone. It was so different from the conservative Chelsea apartment I shared with my aunt.

    One afternoon, he and I walked from the haunted Victorian Mansion to the Staten Island Ferry bound for Manhattan. He stopped me, and bent to pick up a black plastic Batman ring on the ground. Then, he took my left hand and slipped the toy on my ring finger. Realizing what he’d just done, we both became nervous. Just then a strong gust of river wind hit us. It blew for about half an hour’s worth of our walk. The Winding Wind, we called it later. The Lenape native tribe called the island, “Sandy Shores and Haunted Forests.” I like to think we were cosmically married by the island ghosts that afternoon.

    Eight months after we met, we got officially married on a mountaintop overlooking Lake Tahoe in Nevada.

    We lived in New York City for a couple of years, while visiting his family in Maine during the holidays and summer seasons. Here we are on the picture above, hiking up Mt. Washington in our familyNew Hampshire, the tallest peak on the Appalachian trail (8,000 or so feet elevation). It is also known to have the fastest wind speed ever recorded in history.

    After that summer, we headed West to California. Together my husband and I run our internet home business and continue pursuing various creative interests.

    After 8 years of being married, we decided to have our first child. We are very excited about becoming a family, although also happy that we have spent a great deal of time enjoying life as a married couple, before jumping into the new challenges and rewards of parenthood.

  • The Stay at Home Dad

    Stay at Home Dad Flash AnimationMy husband and I run our internet business from home, and are both able to raise our baby full time. My husband made this animation while I was still pregnant, and he was still only imagining his life as a full time father.

    Immediately after I gave birth, my husband began his diaper changing duty. While I was still in bed recovering from childbirth and breastfeeding our baby, my husband had to take care of both the baby and me. He was a wonderful caregiver, cooking soups for me and singing to the baby.

    (My husband got a little peek of this world when his best buddy was a Stay At Home Dad during the first few years of his daughter’s life. Unlike my husband, his best buddy was on his own while his wife went off to work. Just recently, he got a job out of the home after the daughter began pre-school.)

    Raising our child together, my husband and I have gotten even closer than we were before. Our child turns to either of us depending on her needs, and often enjoys having both of us shower her with affection. For our baby, family day is every day!

  • Placenta Fertilizer

    Placenta Fertilizer

    One of the questions I asked my midwife as I neared my due date was “What do we do with the placenta?” Her suggestions: cook it up for a nutrient-rich post partum snack that chases away after birth depression; then plant the rest of it to fertilize the earth.

    I had some placenta immediately after I gave birth. One of the midwives sauteed it with onions and garlic. It tasted pretty good all spiced up, but I must admit there was a huge piece that stayed wrapped up in my freezer for a few months. My mother once mistook it for beef and started to thaw it for supper. I knew I had to do something with my placenta, and soon!

    So when one of my avocado pits sprouted while soaking in the kitchen window, I knew I had the perfect match. My husband and baby watched as I potted the placenta and avocado sprout. I wonder how old my child will be when it’s time to transplant the avocado tree into the ground. When the time comes, I will tell her of that tiny home she inhabited for the first nine months of her life, and how it continued to nurture our home through the avocado tree growing in our sunny backyard.

  • Tabouli

    tabouli ingredientsIngredients:
    1 cup dry bulgur wheat
    1 bunch flat leaf parsley
    1/2 cup fresh mint, chopped
    5 green onions
    5 plum or Roma tomatoes
    1 cucumber
    1 lemon’s juice
    1/2 teaspoon allspice
    salt and pepper
    extra virgin olive oil

    Directions:

    • Soak bulgur wheat in water for 20 minutes, or until bulgur expands and softens.
    • While waiting, chop up the parsley, mint, green onions, tomatoes and cucumber.
    • Mix all ingredients with a wooden spoon. Drizzle some extra virgin olive oil depending on your taste.
    • Chill for at least 2 hours. Overnight is best.

    tabouli recipeServe cold with low fat baked falafel, lightly toasted pita bread, hummus and raw spinach for a refreshingly healthy meal, perfect during the hot summer months. Enjoy!

    super fantastic ultra show podcastThis tabouli recipe is featured on the image-enhanced Super Fantastic Ultra Show Podcast.

  • Low-Fat Baked Falafel Recipe

    Falafel and Tabouli makes for a delicious summer pitaFalafel is conventionally deep fried in oil. I prefer baking it for a lighter, low fat version of this Mediterranean classic.

    Ingredients:
    2 cans garbanzos
    4 cloves garlic, minced
    2 tablespoons peanut butter
    1 green onion, chopped
    1 medium onion, chopped
    1 egg
    1/4 teaspoon cilantro, chopped
    1/4 teaspoon ground cumin
    1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
    1 tablespoon soy sauce
    sesame seeds

    Directions:

    1. Preheat oven 400 degrees Fahrenheit.
    2. Mash garbanzos with a mortar and pestle.
    3. Add all the ingredients and mix well with a wooden spoon.
    4. Shape into balls using a dining spoon.
    5. Roll around on sesame seeds, if you have a lot of it; if you have limited sesame seeds, just sprinkle it on top of the falafel ball.
    6. Arrange on a baking sheet and put it in the oven until golden brown, approximately 30 minutes. If falafel is covered in sesame seeds, it may take longer to cook all the way to the center of the falafel, maybe 45 minutes.
    7. Serve with tabouli, lightly toasted pita bread, hummus and raw spinach for a refreshingly healthy meal, perfect during the hot summer months.

    Enjoy!

  • Children’s Fairyland

    Children’s Fairyland

    This weekend we went to Children’s Fairyland in Lake Merritt, Oakland, an outdoor amusement park with a fairy tale theme.

    Created in 1950, this historic park still has the creepy allure of old-fashioned fairs. Attractions look like they are in need of a new coat of paint. The pen marked “Three Blind Mice” had a guinea pig and the pen that housed the Three Billy Goats Gruff only had two overweight goats when we visited. One of the goats strolled over to us and let us pet him. Our baby was reluctant to pet him, and I appreciated the goat’s kindness and understanding of what the children come out here for, but it still made me feel sad. I imagined the goat having the same low voice as Eeyore, sadly resigning himself to an activity he may not necessarily enjoy, but has learned to put up with.

    When my baby wanted to breastfeed, we stopped by the little pond marked “Goosey Goosey Gander,” which housed two ducks. I sat there amused at the sad orchestral music playing, remarking to my husband about how the minor keys were making me feel so sad for the animals. Can you imagine being stuck somewhere and having to put up with sad music all day?

    Children’s Fairyland is also home to a sheep, an alpaca and Coco the Pony, who is 34 years old!

    Coco the Pony at Children's Fairyland

    All in all, we had a great time at Children’s Fairyland. There are lots of fun places to photograph – a Three Little Pigs roleplaying station, Alice in Wonderland, a Wild West setting – and tiny little houses for children to run around in. I would definitely come back again and support our local amusement park. It’s the only way I know how to make it a better place for my growing child.

  • Zinc Oxide for Diaper Rash

    Zinc Oxide for Diaper Rash

    Along the lines of caring for our baby the best way we know how is the treatment of diaper rash. No matter how careful or diligent a parent one is, there is no avoiding an incident or two of baby developing diaper rash. Perhaps it’s an allergic reaction to something baby ate, or a soiled diaper unchanged while traveling. Early on when we were experimenting with different brands of disposable diapers, we discarded certain brands that irritated our baby’s bottom into a rash.

    At the same time that we were searching for better brands of diapers, we were also looking at diaper rash ointments. The most popular one is Desitin, an over the counter zinc oxide ointment that can be found at any local drug store. I read all the ingredients, and did not find the inactive ingredients very appealing, particularly the petroleum base. It seems counteractive to have a known allergen and skin irritant as the base of an ointment that’s supposed to treat a diaper rash.

    Luckily I found a product from the Self Health Resource Center, a company reputed to provide pure and petroleum-free products. It is labeled as Deodorant, but it is simply zinc oxide in powder form inside a plastic container. I just add water and shake it. Whatever cream winds up on the cap of the container, I dip my finger on and apply on my baby’s rash. It is so amazingly effective. Overnight, the rash is gone. If it’s a really bad rash, it peels the next day, then disappears shortly.

    It is also very cheap. I still haven’t finished the original container I bought in the very beginning, and my baby’s almost a year old. The zinc oxide cream dries up after a while, so I just keep adding water, shaking it and using what winds up on the cap.

    I wholeheartedly recommend the Deodorant Zinc Oxide for use as a diaper rash cream.

  • Chlorine-Free Baby Diapers

    Chlorine-Free Baby Diapers

    Long before our baby was born, the subject of diapers has plagued my husband and me. Our midwife suggested using cloth diapers. Cotton is breathable and comfortable against babies’ sensitive skin. Reusable diapers are environmentally responsible.

    The problem with cloth diapers lies in the cleaning process. The right way to do it would be to flush solids and handwash all diapers in the sink using castile or olive oil soap. Personally, I find it a very time consuming process for a work-at-home mom. Throwing soiled, even rinsed, diapers in the washing machine does not sound sanitary either. Laundry bleach is out of the question, considering all the reports we have read about the health hazards of this common household chemical.

    Our midwife suggested a diaper cleaning service that would pick up soiled diapers, and deliver clean ones. My husband and I discussed this option and found it unacceptable to have our child’s diapers mixed in with other babies’ diapers. To promote sanitation, diaper services use bleach when washing large amounts of diapers. Again, laundry bleach is a health hazard, and a menace to the environment.

    What my husband and I finally decided on were disposable diapers that claim to be chlorine-free. I tried four different brands:

    Seventh Generation is my favorite yet. This diaper is a light brown color, uses chlorine-free materials to absorb wetness and keeps my baby’s bottom dry through the night. Whenever I change her, I am really pleased with how dry her bum is, almost as if she had a layer of baby powder on her. Sometimes when the diaper is very full, I see some gel-like particles on her skin, but this happens very infrequently.

    Tender Care claims to be chlorine-free although the diaper itself is white. Perhaps they whiten their product with non-chlorine alternatives. The sticker is too sticky and removing it tears the whole plastic top apart. Definitely not for overnight use, this diaper needs to be changed diligently every two hours maximum.

    Tushies is another favorite. I like alternating this diaper with the Seventh Generation brand so that my baby’s bum doesn’t get chafed by the same shape of diaper all the time. This brand claims to be gel-free, no absorbent polymer which the Seventh Generation brand has. Tushies uses wood pulp whitened with chlorine-free hydrogen peroxide.

    I had ordered the four brands above from Amazon, but lucky for me, the brands I wound up liking best are available at my local health food store.

  • No Counting

    At a toy store, a mother started yelling at her son, approximately four years old. The mother wanted to leave, the boy wanted to stay.

    The mother started yelling, “I’m gonna count to three… One!”

    The boy cried loudly, “Nooo! No counting!!!”

    It made me wonder if the boy would grow up hating math.

  • Produce Number Codes

    produce number codesEver notice the numbers attached to your produce? You see them on stickers, or on the wire holding a bunch of leafy greens together. Those numbers reveal more than the price you pay at the cashier. Produce number codes also clue you in to the way your fruit and vegetables are grown.

    5 digits starting with 9 means the produce is organic.
    5 digits starting with 8 means the produce is genetically modified.
    4 digits means the produce was grown using conventional farming methods, with chemical fertilizers.