Tag: parenting

Sugar Skulls

My daughter was born on November 1, and now at kindergarten age she has become very interested in the festival held on her birthday.

El Dia de los Muertos is a 3-day Mexican fiesta to honor the dead. To celebrate, one must prepare an altar, or ofrenda, an offering to one’s dead loved ones. An altar may have flowers, specifically marigold, which is the flowers of the dead, photos of our dead loved ones, food and sugar skulls.

The fiesta begins on October 31, All Hallow’s Eve, also known as Halloween in the United States. All Hallow’s Eve is supposed to be when spirits of dead children roam the earth. At this time toys and candies may be added to the altar.

The dead children’s visit extends overnight into November 1, called All Saints Day, in honor of dead children, innocents who perished before their time. By 3 pm the dead children are supposed to return to the land of the dead, and the adult dead are supposed to take their turn roaming the land of the living.

November 2 is called All Souls Day. This is the day to honor all adult dead loved ones. In the afternoon families visit the cemetery to usher the dead back to the afterlife, to clean graves, offer fresh flowers and reminisce about the loved ones who have died.

El Dia de los Muertos not only pokes fun at mortality, but also sets aside time to remember our dead loved ones.

Sugar Skulls

We prepare the sugar skulls a week before El Dia de los Muertos. I got the skull mold from Casa Bonampak. I chose Large so that we had more surface to work with for little fingers like my 6-year-old’s, but they have other sizes available. I also bought a small jar of meringue powder, an indispensable ingredient in making the sugar skulls. Here is a list containing everything you would need (except the sugar).

Here is a detailed recipe for Sugar Skulls, with tables for measurement conversions and yield.

After the skulls are dry, we hollow them out and reuse the discarded sugar to make more skulls. It is incredibly still moldable.

Then we put the two sides of the skull together using Royal Icing (recipe here). One can make colored icing by adding food-based coloring to the Royal Icing in separate cups. I have a lot of store-bought icing in my pantry so we used it to decorate our skulls.

Here are some finished sugar skulls.

I put sequins in the middle of the eye sockets so that the eyes catch the light.

October 30, 2010
Amigurumi Girls

Amigurumi Girl gets a little sister!

Sunday morning my daughter and I were going through my leftover yarn collection. I have a bag of one-skein yarns that I reserve for very small projects, such as amigurumi toys. We found a skein of the Classic Elite Flash in marled pink that reminds me of peppermint candy. I bought it for my daughter years ago but never got around to doing anything with it. That morning, I asked her what she imagined that yearn could be made into.

“Can you make a sister for Clariana?” she asked. Clariana is what she named the Amigurumi Girl I made last summer.

So I set to work. Then halfway through the head, I broke my bamboo crochet needle. The only US size B I have. This must be why metal crochet needles are popular.

I had to use a smaller size. 1.75 mm metal hook.

My stitches were tighter with the smaller hook, which made this sister a little sister. Other than the difference in hair and dress color, I used the exact same kind of yarns, Classic Elite Bam Boo for the dress and skin, and Classic Elite Flash for the hair.

I had finished the head and the body, and was working on the limbs when my precocious 5 year old made a discovery. Put together differently, the head and the body looked like a mushroom. Since she’s the boss of this project, I had to turn the parts into a mushroom and start all over with the little sister. I spent the whole day crocheting, supervised by my 5 year old boss.

It was a lovely way to spend a rainy Sunday together.

The Girl Pattern is in page 84 of Kyuuto! Japanese Crafts Amigurumi by Tomoko Takamori.

January 27, 2010
Lemon Garlic Tea

Well, actually this recipe is listed as Garlic Lemonade in Aviva Jill Romm’s book, Vaccinations: A Thoughtful Parent’s Guide: How to Make Safe, Sensible Decisions about the Risks, Benefits, and Alternatives. Among recipes for boosting immunity, this one excited me most because my daughter and I can incorporate it into one of our favorite playtime activities: Tea Party.

We usually boil a cup of water, squeeze half a lemon and stir a teaspoon of honey into it. A porcelain tea set makes things fun and fancy for my little princess. This recipe adds only one more element: garlic, known for stimulating the immune system.

Here is the recipe:

Garlic Lemonade

3 medium-sized garlic cloves, chopped
(blogger’s note: instead of chopping, I pounded the garlic in a mortar and pestle)
Juice of 1 lemon
Maple syrup or honey to taste.

Place the garlic in a 1-quart jar and fill the jar with boiling water. Let the garlic steep for 20 minutes and then strain it out. Add the lemon juice and sweeten with the maple syrup or honey.

Give 1/2 to 2 cups daily, the lower dose to prevent illness and for younger children and the greater quantity for older kids who feel like they are coming down with a cold.

Don’t give the lemonade every day; just use it periodically as needed.

January 20, 2010
Doing Nothing When My Child is Sick

There is nothing worse for a parent than having a sick child. There is no sleeping when the germs are having their way with our kids. And as a reward for our care, we parents get a dose of the same sickness after our kids are through with it. Can someone please remind me why I wanted so badly to be a mom?

Whenever I come across someone twittering about their kid being sick, I am filled with so much empathy for their plight. I know how it feels to look helplessly at a fevered, coughing, snot-runny, crying child and not have a magic wand to wave it all away. I’m going through that right now.

My daughter had a slight sniffle on Friday morning, and though I felt conflicted, I brought her to her dentist appointment for a filling. (I feel very badly about this. I don’t know anyone who has ever had a filling on a milk tooth. I feel so stupid, and scammed! Worst of all, I have to face the fact that my 5 year old now has something in her mouth every day that weighs on her immune system even just the slightest bit. All because I was a schmuck who didn’t think it through clearly enough before everything was said and done. After all the reading I’ve done about questionable dental practices, I still got sucked into signing my kid up for it. But I digress.)

Everything was fine over the weekend. Monday she went to preschool and had a playdate with a friend and her little one-year-old brother after school. Wednesday, she woke up with a cough, her friend was absent from school. Thursday morning my daughter woke up with a fever. I kept her home.

The most valuable resource I’ve ever gotten prior to giving birth was Aviva Jill Romm’s book, Naturally Healthy Babies and Children: A Commonsense Guide to Herbal Remedies, Nutrition, and Health. The first of Six Steps of Healing, “Step 0: Do nothing to interfere; observe. Recognize and observe the processes taking place. Allow the processes to unfold.”

I’ve always listened to my daughter’s body wisdom. From the very first moment I held her in my arms and watched her suckle instinctively, I was constantly amazed at what she knew about her body. I was humbled, and tried my best not to get in the way by imposing what I thought she was supposed to do. I did not adhere to any feeding schedule. She ate when she was hungry and didn’t when she was not. I believe that eating disorders begin when our own basic instincts are supplanted by messages from the outside, whether it’s mother imposing feeding schedules and quotas, or later on mass media telling us we are too fat. We grow up not trusting our own instincts, tossed about from fad diet to fad diet, unhealthy, unhappy, out of touch with our own bodies.

So I listen to my kid, long before she learned to talk, and I don’t see myself changing soon. As soon as she learned to talk, we taught her the word, “symptoms.” Every time she complained or cried about pain, we asked, “What are your symptoms?” She’d say her head hurts, her nose is runny, her throat hurts… all very helpful clues to a parent, and educational for a child growing up in touch with her body and all its functions.

Doing nothing is the hardest thing. A crying child is a siren of alarm and I don’t know any parent who can sit there without a twitch. In my 5 years of being a mom, I’ve found 5 Ways of “Doing Nothing” when my child is sick. Let me share them with you.

1. Touch. We all have the gift of healing hands. How many times have we instinctively clutched our bellies during a stomach ache, or massaged our temples when we have a headache? I lay my palms on my child and my touch alone comforts her, relaxes her enough to be clear when she talks to me about her symptoms. I ask her if she’s comfortable, if my touch makes her feel better, if she’d rather I touch her elsewhere. Last night for instance, I had my hand on her forehead, and she told me she’d rather have my hand on her neck. Touch aids communication. Touch is communication.

2. Healthy food and water. No matter what it is that ails our children, lots of water and healthy foods will help their immune systems heal them. Carrots and fruits are some raw foods that children already like to eat, so there’s no coercion needed. I like to serve soups at mealtimes because it’s healthy and hydrating. Best ingredients to put into soups for sick people are shiitake mushrooms and leafy greens to support the immune system. When my daughter was still breastfeeding, I made sure she had my milk as often as she reached for it. Not only did it aid her immune system, it also kept her hydrated. Avoid anything fried, dairy or sugar.

3. Warm washcloth. Aviva Jill Romm wrote it best in her book, Naturally Healthy Babies and Children: A Commonsense Guide to Herbal Remedies, Nutrition, and Health, “Fever is not an illness. It is a process occurring as a response to infection and a signal of illness. It is not the fever itself that needs to be eliminated. Rather, the task is to support and nourish the child while the body does the work of eliminating infection, regaining equilibrium, and healing. In fact, fevers may be important in the body’s fight against invading organisms by stimulating the immune system and creating a body temperature inhospitable to bacteria.” I have never given my child medicine to reduce her fevers. I work with a washcloth and water, as hot as I can take it, and I hold it on to her forehead. As the washcloth cools slowly, so does the fever in her head subside.

4. Echinacea. A tincture of echinacea is an over the counter herbal remedy for supporting the immune system. Our medicine cabinet is always stocked with it. I squeeze a few drops in water in a shot glass, depending on directions on the label. My daughter actually likes the taste of it.

5. Zap. Zapping has to be the best kept secret to health. The concept and practice of zapping has been studied and documented for over a hundred years beginning with Nikola Tesla in the 1900s. In a nutshell, a zapper is a device that emits a frequency which resonates throughout the body to shatter bacteria, viruses and germs, much like a singer shatters glass with the right pitch and frequency.

Despite the zapper not being acknowledged by the FDA and the medical establishment, I’ve been using the zapper since I came across it in 1997, with satisfying results. My daughter does not know life without it. Zapping doesn’t feel like anything, there is no electrical jolt or buzz. It’s the ultimate in doing nothing because you just sit there holding the electrodes while doing, well, nothing. I believe it works because symptoms are relieved after use, sometimes dramatically, like with a stomach ache. With colds or flu, it takes a while, but I’ve noticed my family kicks it sooner than most. Cuts that are pink and puffy with infection dry up faster when we zap.

(Disclosure: I am owner/manager of NaturalHealthSupply.com and we sell zappers. In 1999, my husband and I began selling zappers because we believe in them, not the other way around. I feel really lucky to have found the zapper as a solution to many of my health problems. I’ve spoken openly about zapping long before we started selling them. My testimonial above is my own personal experience with the zapper, and is not intended as a medical claim.)

To this day, “doing nothing” has helped my daughter through fevers, coughs, cold, flu, ear infections, cuts and scrapes. When would I consider medical help? Broken bones. Knock on wood.

January 16, 2010
Preschool Pen Pals

My 5-year-old daughter has a pen pal. Iris and Malaya met one summer in Maine when they were both three. They hit it off instantly! We had play dates all summer and rainy days spent indoors. When we headed home to California, the girls hugged each other and promised to stay friends.

It began with us, Moms, writing what our daughters wanted to say to each other. The girls decorated the notes with stickers and drawings. After a few exchanges, the girls started signing their own names at the bottom of the letters. Now, my preschooler writes full letters to her friend, asking for my help to spell out the words she wants to say.

There is so much excitement when we get a letter in the mail. I let her open her own letter, and together we sit as I read it to her. Sometimes she immediately wants to write her friend back. Other times she just sets it aside and goes off playing with something else. Some mornings when she thinks of something she wants to say to her friend, she recruits me to help her write a letter.

Having a pen pal has given my daughter so much enthusiasm and inspiration to read, write and express herself on paper. She loves the whole process: writing a letter, decorating it with stickers and drawings, folding it into the envelope and putting the sticker-stamp on the top right corner. I even let her write her name on the top left corner, and her friend’s name on the center of the envelope. As a favor to the postal worker, I write the addresses. A trip to the post office where my daughter puts her letter into the mail box completes the process.

Iris and Malaya only see each other in the summer when we visit Maine. But the two share such a special friendship as pen pals. I imagine their letters becoming more and more interesting as they learn about the world they are living in. Someday I know I won’t be in the loop anymore, as my daughter learns to read and write letters on her own. Until then I am happily helping her keep in touch.

January 12, 2010
Potty Training

Before my baby was born I read about Elimination Communication, a method of detecting and responding to an infant’s elimination needs. It’s not as much “training” as it is becoming in tune with the natural timing of my baby’s body functions. Elimination Communication means teaching children how to eliminate properly right from the start. It’s the opposite of teaching babies to eliminate in their pants, then at a later age having to re-teach them that eliminating in their pants is bad.

I didn’t launch full steam into EC. I understood the concepts but decided instead to use chlorine free diapers. I remember once holding my baby over the toilet when she was only two weeks old. It was my first try at EC, and I admit it was awkward for me, so I kept using the diapers as I got to know my baby’s signs.

At around seven months my baby was able to sit upright in a chair, so I resumed the potty training. We set up a Baby Bjorn Toilet Trainer. First thing in the morning, I sat her on the potty and she went. Everytime I would see the “poopie face,” we sat her on the potty and she went. We still continued using diapers, but we sat her on the potty every chance we could get, all the while saying the word “potty” while she sat there.

Another helpful habit is taking the baby to the bathroom with me whenever I had to go. I wanted her to see that she wasn’t the only one that needed to sit on the potty. I wanted to show her how it’s done.

The word “potty” became one of the first words she learned how to say. I wanted to make sure she understood that whenever she said the word “potty” I would consistently take her to the toilet. At first she only asked to go potty when she had to take a poop. She was still urinating in her diaper up to about 18 months of age. However, doing away with the messy chore of cleaning diaper poop was a major step in the right direction. Perhaps the sticky gross sensation of pooping was much more noticeable when one has an absorbent diaper quickly soaking up urine.

Come summertime, my 18 month old spent a lot of time in the inflatable pool in the backyard. We did not bother diapering her, and whenever we did try, she pulled them right off in the heat. Running around the backyard naked, she realized the correlation between the sensation in her bladder and the liquid coming out of her.

From then on, my toddler consistently called “potty” whenever she had to urinate or defecate, whether we were at home or out and about. We have a potty set up in the car, with plastic bags and paper towels for easy disposal. She learned to sit on a grown-up-sized toilet at public restrooms, holding on to railings or toilet paper holders to steady her. Even in the middle of the night, my toddler wakes and calls “potty” and we take her. Sometimes she’s too groggy, but I can tell she needs to go when she gets restless turning around and around in bed, so I just go and take her to the toilet.

When I started throwing out dry diapers, I realized she was ready for cotton panties. At 22 months of age, my daughter was fully potty trained. On her 2nd birthday, she went to the bathroom all by herself, closing the door to us and proud to do everything herself.

November 6, 2006
Avocado Applications

The avocado is one of my favorite fruits. Avocado is packed with nutrients such as folate, potassium, vitamin E and lutein. When in season during the summer months, avocados are always on my weekly grocery list.

Guacamole

People seem to think of guacamole everytime an avocado is mentioned. It’s an easy recipe: mash a whole avocado, add a diced tomato, minced small onion, chopped cilantro, squeeze half a lime, salt, pepper and ground cumin. It’s a delicious dip for corn tortillas or served on the side of homemade enchilladas.

Avocado Spa

Avocado can be mashed and applied on the skin as a moisturizing mask. Many spas offer this treatment for facials, body rubs and foot massages. Before applying avocado on your face and body, test it first on a small patch on your arm to make sure you are not allergic.

First Solid Food for Baby

Avocado was the first choice as soon as my baby started craving solid food. It is easily gummed by my toothless tot, and there is hardly any preparation involved. Just cut the fruit in half, remove the pit and spoon it into baby’s eager mouth.

My eight-month old loves avocado so much, she can eat a half of it in one sitting. I keep the other half refrigerated in a resealable container, ready for the next time my baby wants some more. Remember that avocado turns dark if left out, so if you’re not sure whether your baby can finish a half of an avocado, scrape a smaller portion into a bowl and keep the rest refrigerated.

Egg and Avocado Sandwich
aka Green Egg Sandwich

1 hardboiled egg, diced
half an avocado, mashed
1 tablespoon mayonnaise
salt and pepper to taste

Combine ingredients above and serve in between toasted bread for a nutritious and delicious lunch. This recipe makes one sandwich.

Planting the Avocado Seed

I immerse the flat half of the avocado seed in water, pointed end upwards, and set it on a sunny spot in the kitchen. I’ve made the mistake once of setting it outdoors and the squirrels ate it! Change the water every couple of days, and you may be surprised with some sprouts! When the sprouts are well formed, plant in potting soil with the tip of the seed peeking above the soil surface. Put the plant out on a sunny area, perhaps on a spot the squirrels can’t dig up. Keep the soil fairly moist and with good drainage.

Avocado Arts and Crafts

After you’ve mashed, eaten or applied the avocado on your skin, there is one more thing you can do. Turn your avocado skins into shrunken heads!

First scrub and wash the inside of the avocado skin until it is clean. Working on a chopping block with the inside of the avocado skin facing you, cut out a couple of eyes, a nose and a mouth. Keep it simple or get creative. Don’t expect it to look like much at first, because the avocado skin needs to dry in the sun for a few days before it shrivels and curls into the gnarly shape of a shrunken head.

If you eat as much avocado as my family does, you’ll have quite a collection of shrunken heads by the end of the summer… just in time for Halloween!

October 24, 2006
Breastfeeding: The Art of Being a Woman

Breastfeeding is what I’ve found to be the most profound expression of motherhood. Not labor and delivery of the baby, not pregnancy, not conception, all important and indispensable stages of becoming a mother. When I say breastfeeding is the most profound expression of motherhood, it is because I see it as a choice a mother makes that is the ultimate giving of herself. It is a choice that is nowadays not imperative, given the option of bottle feeding formula.

By breastfeeding, a mother gives her child her time, holding her in her arms and patiently letting her suckle day and night. By breastfeeding, a mother gives her child the nutrients produced by her body, more complete and more pure than anything that can be grown or manufactured on earth. By breastfeeding, a mother teaches her child’s immune system how to defend itself from diseases she has had experience with up to that point.

I’ve been breastfeeding my baby for almost a year now, and I will continue to do so until she decides to wean herself. I have never been wrong in observing my child closely and allowing her to decide what is best for her. When she’s hungry she eats, when she’s full she pushes food away. I believe that babies are more in touch with the pure and honest needs of their own bodies. As adults we have become too educated and worldly, mired in words and concepts, perhaps not as in touch with what’s basic and real.

There have been many times when breastfeeding my child constantly is what saves her. I put her at my breast when she’s constipated. It seems to settle her upset tummy and hydrates her till she is able to eliminate. I put her at my breast throughout air flights to and from visiting family. It eases her popping ears and keeps her from being dehydrated in those dry airconditioned airplanes. When she had a fever upon cutting her first tooth, I kept her at my breast with a cool damp washcloth at her forehead. Her fever subsided shortly and she is back to being her healthy and happy self. As a toddler, when she caught pink eye from one of her playmates, a couple of drops of breastmilk into the affected eye cleared the conjunctivitis quickly.

Breastfeeding has helped me too. I’ve become more confident in my abilities as a mother and a caregiver. I saved money by not buying formula, bottles, and other bottle feeding paraphernalia. Late night feedings are a breeze because all I have to do is turn over to my side and present my breasts.

I feel really lucky that I am able to stay at home and care for my baby full time the way I do. I understand some women don’t have that luxury. In two-income families, the choice to feed with formula is made for them by the realities of having to leave their child at a day care facility.

This book, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding: Completely Revised and Updated 8th Edition, presents as many solutions as there are obstacles preventing contemporary women from breastfeeding their babies. It’s an important book to read during pregnancy, to prepare for the real work ahead.

December 12, 2005
Busting Breastfeeding Myths

Ever since my baby was born, I’ve heard a number of breastfeeding myths from my mother and some aunts, women whose parenting skills were shaped during the ’70’s, when milk companies took advantage of the women’s liberation movement to sell mothers formula. Here are some of the myths I’ve heard, and the truths that bust these myths:

MYTH #1: Breastmilk does not have complete nutrition.

On the contrary, breastmilk has everything a baby needs to grow up strong and healthy. There is no other food or drink grown or manufactured on earth that can compare to the nourishment provided by breastmilk.

MYTH # 2: There is not enough breast milk to satisfy baby.

Our breasts make as much milk as our infant requires. Baby’s suckling stimulates the milk ducts, which in turn creates the milk. As baby grows and requires more milk, the supply of milk increases. As baby begins eating solids and weans, the supply of milk adjusts to the decreasing demand. If the natural supply-demand connection between mother and baby is followed, instead of imposing schedules, pumping, or supplementing with formula, there would be less problems with engorgement, clogged milk ducts and leaking.

MYTH # 3: Mother will wrinkle up and age prematurely if she breastfeeds.

Premature aging has long been related to dryness of the skin. It is important to keep ourselves hydrated while breastfeeding. Just like when we were pregnant, at least 2 liters of water a day will keep our bodies healthy and our skin glowing. Soups and fruit juices are a wonderful way to hydrate and nourish ourselves.

Studies show less problems with osteoporosis or calcium deficiencies, less incidences of cancer of the uterus, and less incidences of breast cancer among women who have breastfed on a long-term basis.

MYTH # 4: Antibodies can only be passed on to baby within the first 6 months.

Antibodies are constantly being passed on to baby while the breastfeeding connection is kept. That is why experts suggest that breastfeeding continue, even during times when mother has caught a cold or flu. This allows the baby to be exposed to a milder version of the virus and the antibodies to create immunity.

For more information about breastfeeding, visit What To Expect.

December 12, 2005
Our Love Story

My husband and I met in New York City during the blizzard of 1996. He lived in a haunted Victorian Mansion, with a billiards table in the basement, taxidermy birds, fox and a giant elk, antique furniture piled on top of each other, grand pianos, giant ceramic demons hanging from trees, and feathered Indians made of stone. It was so different from the conservative Chelsea apartment I shared with my aunt.

One afternoon, he and I walked from the haunted Victorian Mansion to the Staten Island Ferry bound for Manhattan. He stopped me, and bent to pick up a black plastic Batman ring on the ground. Then, he took my left hand and slipped the toy on my ring finger. Realizing what he’d just done, we both became nervous. Just then a strong gust of river wind hit us. It blew for about half an hour’s worth of our walk. The Winding Wind, we called it later. The Lenape native tribe called the island, “Sandy Shores and Haunted Forests.” I like to think we were cosmically married by the island ghosts that afternoon.

Eight months after we met, we got officially married on a mountaintop overlooking Lake Tahoe in Nevada.

We lived in New York City for a couple of years, while visiting his family in Maine during the holidays and summer seasons. Here we are on the picture above, hiking up Mt. Washington in New Hampshire, the tallest peak on the Appalachian trail (8,000 or so feet elevation). It is also known to have the fastest wind speed ever recorded in history.

After that summer, we headed West to California. Together my husband and I run our internet home business and continue pursuing various creative interests.

After 8 years of being married, we decided to have our first child. We are very excited about becoming a family, although also happy that we have spent a great deal of time enjoying life as a married couple, before jumping into the new challenges and rewards of parenthood.

October 16, 2005