Modern Wife

Tag: pregnancy

  • A Child’s Creation Story

    My daughter loves hearing about how she was born. I tell her about her beginning as a tiny baby the size of a pea growing inside my belly. I tell her about how happy I was when she grew big in my belly and I felt her kicking against me. I tell her about the dream I had of her being held by a larger-than-life statue of the Madonna whose face looked like Freddie Mercury. I tell her that dream meant she had the gift of music.

    I tell her that a few hours before she was born, her Daddy and I took a walk around the neighborhood and rescued a lost dog. I tell her that when it was time for her to come out, three midwives came to our home to help me. She likes thinking of them as three fairy godmothers. I tell her that at some point I hugged her Daddy and he could feel her kicking against us, pushing just as hard as I was. I tell her that when she finally came out, she blew all the fluid out of her nose and let out a strong cry, her first song. I tell her that when she was all wrapped up warm in a blanket, her Daddy sang her the “Macaroni” song.

    I tell her that three days after she was born, she started turning orange. I said, I don’t want a pumpkin. I want a baby! So we went to Children’s Hospital and put her under bright lights. In a few days she was back to being a baby and we took her home.

    At five years old, she began adding to the story. She says that once she was an angel who wanted to be human. She looked over all the mothers and fathers in whole world and picked us. Then she came into my belly and started growing there. I tell her how lucky we were that she chose us.

    I suppose it is natural for humans to be curious about our origins. Where proof ends, we speculate. Cultures create and appropriate their own versions of creation myths. Even Science has its own unproven theory of our beginnings. We need these stories to give us a sense of identity. These stories, like stars, guide us as we navigate the future.

  • My Home Birth Story

    My Home Birth Story

    October 31 at 9 a.m. my water broke. My midwife, Kristen, came about an hour later to check on me. She suggested going on our daily walk, to help the baby descend lower and bring on the contractions.

    So hubby and I went to take a walk, which was the longest walk we’ve ever taken, because I was going so slow. Passing trick-or-treaters on our walk, we rescued a stray dog who almost got run over by a car. Jay whistled to the dog to keep it off the road, until the dog found his way home. We also ate some Mexican food and bought Knudsen’s Recharge, an energy drink that has real fruit juice instead of sugar, for the labor we were anticipating. At the grocery store the cashier asked when I was due, and nearly flipped out when I answered, “Tonight.”

    At home, we hung out and every 10 or so minutes I had contractions, which felt like severe menstrual cramps. We went to bed early, Jay massaged my lower back and buttocks everytime I had a contraction. I found it helped me to vocalize while I had a contraction. It helped me breathe through it, and it signaled my husband to massage me. I instructed him to massage my cheeks outward, to help me visualize my body opening up to let the baby out.

    By 2 in the morning on November 1, I began feeling more intense contractions, the kind that actually makes me feel like pushing. I fought the urge to push by breathing through it, moaning and vocalizing all the way. I told my husband to call the midwife NOW.

    Kristen arrived 2:15 a.m. She set up quickly in our bedroom, and called the other two midwives who will assist her. By that time I was on my hands and knees, the only position I felt comfortable in. Everytime I moaned with my contraction, I remembered the old creation myth about the goddess singing the world into creation, calling each creature by name in a song uniquely its own. The vibration of my voice in my belly helped me get through the pain. In between contractions, I felt delirious, almost like I was in deep dreamy sleep. (Thank you, endorphins!!!)

    By 4 a.m. I was getting tired, anxious, and worried that nothing was happening. Kristen and the other midwives kept me hydrated with Recharge and some water, kept encouraging me by saying I’m doing a good job. In between contractions, Kristen checked the baby’s heartbeat through her handheld Doppler, and also checked my cervix. When she felt that the cervix was fully dilated and out of the way, she instructed me to push.

    By then my arms were so tired of holding my body on all fours. I had pillows piled up in front of me, to rest my head in between contractions, but my arms and thighs were shaking in exhaustion. Kristen suggested I change position.

    I stood up, and in frustration, I cried, “Hold me” to Jay. We hugged, and as I got a contraction I found myself tiptoe-ing and hanging off Jay’s shoulder in one push. He took my weight and it felt really good. I felt the baby go even lower with the help of gravity. Jay and I had found our groove. We repeated this process every contraction. Later on Jay told me he could feel the baby kicking through my belly and onto his stomach as I hung my whole body weight off him – the three of us, father, mother and child moving to the rhythm of our own unique birthing dance. He said that before we labored, he was afraid he wouldn’t know what to do, that he might be in the way of the process, or worse, be like the stereotype “waiting room Dad.” When I hugged him he said he felt like a strong man, that he could support me, not just psychologically but in a very physical sense.

    As the baby got lower and lower, I kept crying, “It hurts!” My team encouraged me to keep pushing, make it hurt more, I wasn’t sure I could. I entertained fantasies of being magically transported to the hospital and being shot drugs to make the pain go away.

    Kristen brought me back to earth by saying that I was ready to deliver. She suggested I go back to my hands and knees. Jay got back to massaging me to open wide during the contractions. With the most painful pressure on my whole pelvic area, I delivered the head, and the baby got stuck right at the eyes. Jay stretched me wide open to help deliver the baby’s full head at the next contraction. Kristen then expertly repositioned the baby to deliver her shoulders and the rest of the body. At 5:27 a.m. November 1 Kristen placed my baby right underneath me and I looked into my baby’s face for the first time.

    It’s a girl! My beautiful baby girl!!!

    I hugged her and kissed her. She cried so loud and furiously! She also blew the fluid out of her own nose and mouth. She is so strong! Her APGARS is 9/10. She is 6 lbs 10 oz, 18 inches long.

    We were still connected through the umbilical cord, and the placenta was still inside me. I suddenly didn’t feel like I had any more strength to push the placenta out. The midwives encouraged me to breastfeed my baby immediately, to trigger one more contraction so I can deliver the placenta. My baby latched onto my breast immediately. She is so amazingly smart and knew what to do. Within minutes, I passed her on to my husband while I delivered the placenta. Once she was back in my arms, my husband cut the cord, and the midwives set to work inspecting the placenta to make sure there were no missing parts that could still be inside me.

    After that, the three midwives split up their afterbirth tasks. Shauna stayed with the baby to measure her weight, length, and reflexes. Kristen sat me in an herbal sitz bath and assisted me in a quick shower, while Colette made us all breakfast.

  • Midwifery Services vs. Obstetrics-Gynecology

    Midwifery Services vs. Obstetrics-Gynecology

    Soon after I found out that I was pregnant, I set out to find the health provider who will assist me throughout my pregnancy and deliver my baby. I knew I wanted to have my child at home. Although hospitals are equipped for any possible emergency, I worry about the stress of driving during labor and infection control in institutional settings. I wanted to be in the place where I’m most comfortable.

    Midwifery Services

    I started by requesting a list of midwives in my locale from the Midwives Alliance of North America. I called a few licensed professional midwives and conducted interviews over the phone.

    midwifery services at homeEach midwife is different. Some midwives conduct pre-natal visits in their homes or offices so that they can be in a central location in case any of their clients call for labor. Some midwives come to their clients’ homes all the way from pre- to post-natal visits. This situation was the most attractive to me, so I immediately filtered out the ones who were not willing to come to my home for all visits.

    HMO insurance does not cover midwifery services. PPO may reimburse part or all of the midwifery expenses. Most midwives charge on a sliding scale between $2800 to $5000 for comprehensive pre-natal visits, labor/delivery and post-partum visits. Each visit generally lasts for about an hour, consisting of monitoring urine, weight, blood pressure, pulse, baby’s heartbeat, palpation of the uterus, nutritional counseling and consultation regarding various issues that arise during pregnancy.

    Not all pregnancies qualify for a home birth. Hospital births are recommended in cases of gestational diabetes, hypertension (high blood pressure), Rh negative mom with a positive antibody screen, preterm premature rupture of membranes, multiple gestations (e.g. twins), breech presentation, active genital herpes, preeclampsia and preterm labor.

    Most midwives carry the following equipment, supplies and medication during home birth: oxygen, bag and mask for neonatal resuscitation, laryngoscope for neonatal resuscitation, IV therapy equipment, basic anti-hemorrhagic medication, suturing supplies (suture and lidocaine), fetoscope and hand-held Doppler, Rescu-Vac and/or DeLee catheter for deep suction of the newborn if necessary (as in the case with passage of meconium), urinary catheters, vitamin K for newborn blood clotting, and erythromycin ointment for newborn infection prophylaxis.

    Most midwives do not carry: pain medication including epidurals or narcotics, surgical equipment beyond that needed for basic suturing, forceps or vacuum, continuous fetal monitoring equipment, and blood for transfusions.

    Obstetrics-Gynecology

    I come from a medical family, so naturally my parents were very concerned about my decision to have my baby at home with the help of a midwife. As a compromise, I am also seeing a medical doctor, an obstetrician-gynecologist, in case of an emergency.

    Gone are the days when doctors made house calls, so obviously one must consider the trip to the doctor’s office for pre-natal visits and the ride to the hospital for labor/delivery when choosing an Ob-Gyn. I chose a doctor who practises very close to where I live, so I could avoid the freeway traffic or long drives during my pregnancy.

    HMO insurance generally require a copay for the first visit with the Ob-Gyn, then there is no more copay for the succeeding visits. Each visit is about 10 to 20 minutes long, consisting of monitoring urine, weight, blood pressure, pulse, baby’s heartbeat, palpation of the uterus and some consultation regarding various issues that arise during pregnancy.

    During the first visit, the Ob-Gyn may conduct a pap smear and prescribe a blood test. Often, pre-natal visits are attended by a nurse practitioner instead of the Ob-Gyn. There is hardly any consultation regarding nutrition. The most nutrition advice I have gotten from my doctor has been to eat small meals throughout the day instead of the regimented three square meals.

    As far as Ob-Gyn’s go, my doctor is better than most. She promises not to jump to C-sections, unless absolutely necessary. She also professes not to do episiotomies. There are less invasive techniques to preserving a woman’s perenium during childbirth. Episiotomies are not only extremely painful, it also takes a woman longer to heal than one who has not been subjected to it.

    Case by Case Comparison:
    Midwife vs. Obstetrician-Gynecologist

    Pre-natal Vitamins. The Ob-Gyn prescribed Natal Care Plus, which are large pink-colored pills that made me feel nauseous whenever I took them. I worried about the additives from the manufacturing process of these commercial pills. Later on I read in this article about Zinc, which states that Zinc supplements should not be taken with Iron and Calcium. So why are these three minerals together in prenatal vitamin pills?

    My midwife suggested that I make herbal tea for vitamin supplementation instead. She recommended: 1/4 cup nettles, 1/4 cup red raspberry leaves, 16 oz water combined in a glass jar. Cover and let it sit overnight. Sip this cold herbal infusion throughout the next day. Apparently nettles is rich in iron and calcium. Red raspberry leaves are rich in vitamins and minerals, particularly iron, in addition to being a uterine tonic.

    The cold herbal infusion was difficult for me to get down. So I added honey and/or lemon to the tea, and refrigerated it to make it taste more like iced tea. Steeping it hot like regular tea also helps with the taste.

    Urinary Tract Infection. My first blood test revealed a bladder infection, so my Ob-Gyn immediately put me on Nitrofurantoin. Kudos to the doctor for her diagnosis. It made me really glad that I have a medical doctor overseeing my care. However I was hesitant to take antibiotics, knowing how much they can wreak havoc in my system.

    I consulted my midwife and she said that since I hadn’t been abusing antibiotics in any way pre-pregnancy (4 years earlier was the last time I’ve had any in my system) she was confident that this dose will take care of my problem quickly, without any concern for resistant bacteria. She also suggested:

    • Echinacea and Goldenseal – the kind that contains ONLY echinacea and goldenseal. Don’t take the chance with other herbal ingredients that could complicate things for pregnant women;
    • Vitamin C – no more than 500 mg a day;
    • Cranberry juice – contains substances that inhibit the growth of bacteria in the bladder. Remember to buy UNSWEETENED cranberry juice. Refined sugars foster the growth of bacteria, and will be defeating the whole purpose of drinking cranberry juice.
    • Water – drink 2 liters (equivalent to 64 oz. = 8 pint-size glasses) a day.

    When I consulted my nurse practitioner about my fears of complications arising from the use of antibiotics, such as yeast infections, the only recommendation she had was anti-fungal cream over the counter at the
    drug store. In comparison, my midwife had suggestions on how to prevent yeast infections through good nutrition (plain yogurt).

    Sciatica. In the case of sciatica, my midwife recommended the relatively invasive approach of acupuncture, while my doctor simply suggested taking a hot bath.

    Related Links:
    Baby Center
    Pregnancy Nutrition
    Pregnancy Myths
    Herbs for Pregnancy
    Herbs During Pregnancy
    Citizens for Midwifery
    Midwives Alliance of North America
    Midwife Info
    Midwifery Links
    Ob-Gyn Predicament
    Unassisted Childbirth
    Unhindered Childbirth

  • Ultrasound Sonogram for Pregnancy

    Ultrasound Sonogram for Pregnancy

    A sonogram or ultrasound uses sound waves between the frequencies of 10 Hz to 8 MHz (that’s 10 to 8 million Hz). These sound waves come from a transducer applied on the outer skin of a person, and is bounced off structures within the body, much like sonar waves are used by bats and whales to determine their distance and depth from structures ahead of them.

    For a pregnant woman, the sonogram provides a visual picture and video of the baby from within the womb. It causes no discomfort, and because it works through sound waves, there is no danger of radiation exposure.

    During a sonogram, the ultrasound technologist is able to measure the different parts of the unborn baby’s body. This is a more precise way of determining a fetus’ age, and setting a due date for the birth. An ultrasound can also determine a baby’s gender, with 99% accuracy.

    My Ultrasound Sonogram

    sonogram for pregnancyThe video above and photos are taken from my ultrasound on the 20th week
    of pregnancy. It was exciting to see our baby moving inside me, kicking, scratching the head, moving the fingers, turning over to the side. At this stage, when kicks are only felt as little flutters in my womb, it is comforting to see a full human being in there.

    I was not able to find out our baby’s gender at this time. Often it really is up to the baby whether s/he wants to reveal himself/herself. Our baby was shy, kept his/her legs close together and turned constantly to show his/her back. What matters to me the most is seeing that my baby has a strong spine, all the necessary body parts in the right places and a beautiful facial bone structure articulated on the screen monitor.

    Other parents are able to immediately see a penis if their baby is a boy. They say boys are generally not shy, and that they can sometimes be found playing with their penises as early as before they are born.